Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.
Q: How do men define a “50/50” relationship?
A: We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
Q: How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
A: Make him wear shoes.
Q: What did God say after creating man?
A: I can do so much better.
Q: What’s the smartest thing a man can say?
A: “My wife says…”
Q: Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?
A: So men can understand them.
Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q: Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
A: Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
Q: Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because none of them will stop to ask for directions.
Q: Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
A: When it’s time to go back to his childhood, he’s already there.